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Submitted on
May 10, 2004
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Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
For I have already fallen
Hit so hard my body cracked
My heart shattered within
Shutting myself down
Closing up to others
My silence forever kept
Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
My horrors now revealed
You're gone forever
And I'm standing here alone
Lost and foresaken
Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
My visions now hazed
Coldness seeping in
Freezing my internal organs
Lost in time and space
Frozen expressions of sadness
No longer do I exist
Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
For I have already fallen
Hit so hard I died in an instant
a poem....
Add a Comment:
 
:iconheavenlytouch:
I have posted my suggestion before. But I'm here to remind you to use a subject or more to be inside your poem. As I know, a subjectlless poem is quite boring and not interesting to read. I'm not judging you that your poems are bad, but I just want to make them better. I hope you can understand that I'm not a professional yet in poetry, but at least I know how to write a poem worth reading for. You may want to take a look for my poems and then you'll understand what I mean.
Click here [link] and here [link]
Thanks !!! :D
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5 out of 9 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconmarcoherrera:
MarcoHerrera Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:clap: +fav 
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:iconluckylisa:
luckylisa Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconwingz69:
WiNGz69 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Student Writer
Its beautiful - I love it : ).
Reply
:iconluckylisa:
luckylisa Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :) :hug:
Reply
:iconsonia-p:
sonia-p Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
Very nice.
Reply
:iconluckylisa:
luckylisa Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you!
Reply
:iconrobostorm:
robostorm Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"say you're here, or it's all over now"

Sorry, I just had to quote the song Whisper since, I actually clicked on this poem because of the title being in the song, but this poem is really good, quite amazing!! Keep writing!!!!
Reply
:iconluckylisa:
luckylisa Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconheavenlytouch:
heavenlytouch Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This one is quite good, but I think it will be better if you choose a GOOD subject like rain, night, or even light. Sorry, but I think this poem is pointless. You may use subjects above to give some colors to your poems so they're alive ! Sorry, I just want to help and bring suggestion. Overall, quite good ! :D
Reply
:iconluckylisa:
luckylisa Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks!
Reply
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